Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

The Non-Existent Problem of Women

October 12, 2010

So lately, I’ve been reading a lot of articles by women that pretty much demean women. I would link to them but I don’t want to increase the readership of what ends up being total crap. My favorite article basically said that if you’re unemployed, then it’s the perfect time to have a kid since you’ll have one soon anyways and it will just screw up your career. The latest said that women are fundamentally incapable of being entrepreneurs because they want kids. Bull, bull, bull.

I don’t know how to answer these articles except to go through some of my upbringing. I’m the daughter of a retired firefighter and a secretary. My father had two jobs for most of my life and my mother started a second job right after I left home. To be perfectly honest, I will also add that they are divorced and did so when I was seven. Regardless of that, I learned one thing growing up: People are meant to work and they are meant to work hard. This is a value that I treasure and that I plan on passing on to my future kid.

How do I plan on doing that? I plan on being the example that my kid can look up to. I already am like my parents in that I have two jobs. I work my regular 9-5 job and then I go home to work on my new business that I just opened. As my boyfriend has noted, it is very rare for me NOT to be working on something. This was even true during my stint when I was employed. I like to work. When I have a child, I know this won’t change just because it’s so ingrained in me. And I don’t want it to change. I want my child to see me enjoying work and to want to be the same.

Will this make me any less of a mom? Despite the fact that everyone says that I’m the man in my relationship, I don’t think so. This just happens to be something that I honest to God enjoy and get upset when it’s taken away from me. It’s kind of like reading. If you really like reading and know all of the joys that a good book can bring into your life, wouldn’t you want to share that hobby with your child? Well, I want to share one of my favorite hobbies with my child too.

Does this mean that I will miss some things in my child’s life? Undoubtedly, yes. Is that okay? Once again, yes. It will make me appreciate my child that much more and it will make my child appreciate the time spent with me that much more. And it will also teach my child about responsibility. Is it really that bad a thing for my kid to realize that sometimes my responsibilities come before him or her? I think it will only reinforce some great values and it will also make sure that my child does not have an overinflated sense of self-worth. After all, things don’t always go the way we always want and sometimes we have to put the needs of others in front of our own.

I do not think any of this is naive, although I fully expect to be called another naive 20-something. I don’t think I am though. I think I have identified what will work for me as a future mom, just like other women have identified what works for them and men have done the same for themselves. So can we all be cool with the fact that work hard or not work hard is an individual’s choice and not based on gender? And can we also maybe stop writing posts about how women should or should not be?

Oh and yes, I do feel better. Thanks for asking.